Exploring my Gmail account leads to....

Rediscovering a blog page I prepared a couple years ago.

I find myself asking why blogging has become so popular? Perhaps it's the unbridled prospect of talking about one's self, a modern journal for those of us who have forgotten how to write legibly, an opportunity to better one's spelling, a chance to feel truly part of the wondrous public domain of the internet, or perhaps it's just the hip thing to do. Regardless of the cause of the growth of the blog, I've decided to give it a go. although I have yet to determine to what end I pursue this endeavor.

Life is a funny thing, although this is something that i know, and hope that you might know, with neither writing nor reading this. Life can build or break you. However, to say simply that it is Life which determines the outcome is an epic folly. We are all active players in our own lives, and our actions, or inaction for that matter, are what truly shape the world around us, causing our own personal strengths and personal weaknesses. There can be no better test of the staying power of an individual then life. I say this meaning that the persona that a person presents is sometimes not constant and can be distorted, for better or worse, by events and the way that person handles them.

This is the crossroad where I have found myself, more specifically, do I cause pain to myself and others in a effort to promote the possibility of a better future for myself or do I continue in a numbed state toward an end I truly cannot foresee myself capable of handling. It's funny how the obvious answer is the one I fear the most, fearing not the monstrosity I could allow myself to become if I continue on the path I'm on, I would rather avoid the prospect of pain for fear that I would ruin the opportunity for self betterment.

And so for now I sit, harnessed into the ride that my life has become, sitting in the back of the train, with blinders, unaware of the loops and turns coming my way, all the while screaming, "I want to get off".